One-sided Relationship: Meaning and Treatment
Sometimes when in a relationship, people feel that something is wrong. Oftentimes, they can't say what exactly is wrong, but they feel it. When it comes to one-sided relationships, feelings are especially spicy, even in friendship. For example, your best friend has stopped trying to call or hang out with you once he got a girlfriend or your co-worker who believes that you receive all gratitude while he or she does all the work. Surely you already have a couple of your own examples of one-sided love or relationship.
However, there is a huge difference between one-sided friendship and one-sided love. In the first case, you can relatively easily end your connections, and no significant harm to your emotional state will follow. In turn, in the second case, it may be very hard to fix this situation and end the unhealthy relationship. This is why it is so important to set clear boundaries, share interests, and desires with your partner. Otherwise, you may encounter chaos and problems that it will cause in your life. Generally, don't hurry to give up on a girl, since you may be able to fix this situation.
What Is a One-Sided Relationship?
Here is our small one-sided love definition: this is when the first partner loves and needs the second one much more than the second partner needs and loves the first one. Here is a very simple example, you and your girlfriend have been together for several months, and in the beginning, everything seemed to be so perfect and fine, but now she seems to be very cold, and you are the only one who contributes to your relationships. We will talk about the main signs of a one-sided relationship a little bit later.
First of all, you need to understand that this is not your fault. When two people truly like or love each other, they both want to contribute to their relationships. Both partners will count seconds until they see each other. Unfortunately, there are a few things you can do if your partner doesn't love you as much as you love him or her. Plus, there is another aspect, since you may be just overthinking everything he or she does or says. This happens because you don't want to lose a partner, and your brain subconsciously tries to prepare you for that possibility. Also, people in love tend to ignore red flags in their partner's behavior, simply because they don't want to see them.
What Causes One-Sided Relationships?
There are so many factors that may lead to one-sided relationships, and unfortunately, it is very hard to say which one takes place in your life. However, the formula of a happy romantic relationship is very simple. When you search for women looking for men, you have some expectations and plans for your future partners. For example, maybe you want to find a life-time partner, or you are searching for a one-night stand. In any case, the perfect match is possible only when two partners initially had the same goals and plans for each other. On the contrary, if your partner originally wanted to be friends with you, but you managed to date him or her, they may have doubts about whether they want to be with you or not. Those small mismatches and misunderstandings are the first roots of one-sided love. Sadly, it is very hard to fix one-sided relationships. Frequently this problem appears when, in a couple, one partner is not satisfied with something and doesn't want to be together with the second one. So, you only need to fix this small dissatisfaction, and everything will be okay, right? Unfortunately, no. You see, your partner, probably, has already tried to fix this (if he or she wanted to fix this problem in the first place), but it seems that he or she failed to do so. Therefore, there might be nothing you can do to fix this problem. However, there are some cases in which two partners manage to save their relationship.
Is this the same with one-sided love?
Recently we have already mentioned one-sided love, but it is crucial to understand the difference between these two terms. So, what is one-sided love? One-sided love is one person who loves another one, but this is unrequited love. The main difference between one-sided love and relationships is that in the first case, you will never be in relationships with the person you love. Both feelings are pretty painful, but they have different roots and different ways of recovery. Consequently, it is very important to draw the line between them.
Unrequited teenage love is a very great example of one-sided love. I am sure this happened to everyone. When we fall in love with someone, and they don't really care about us. Or when someone falls in love with us, but we are not interested in this person at all. In this case, the situation will never come to relationships, due to the fact that to form a couple, both people must be, at least, interested in each other. Another great example is a friendzone. In this case, two people may be very close friends, but even though one of them falls in love with another one, they will never be a couple.
In the case of a one-sided relationship, two people have managed to create a couple because, at some point, they both wanted to be together, but for some reason, one of the partners starts losing his or her love. So, in other words, a one-sided relationship is when one partner contributes way more than the second one. Surely, even in the healthiest human relationships, people can't always equally contribute to their love. However, it is not always necessary, because you and your partner can make contributions into your relationship in turns.
Both these feelings are followed by emotional pain. It is always hard to receive a refusal from someone you love, but it is way harder to realize that your beloved partner doesn't love you as much as you love him or her. In the case of one-sided love, people tend to recover much faster, because they never had so many strings attached as people in relationships have. But don't worry, if unrequited love is doomed, the one-sided relationships can be fixed. You only need to know how to do it.
How to Know If You Are in One-Sided Relationships
We have already mentioned a couple of signs of one-sided relationships, but here we will share 6 clearest signs that you are in one-sided relationships. After reading them, you won't need any quotes about one-sided relationships because you will be able to analyze your relationships by yourself. Remember, you must apply these signs only as a system or combination since each of our signs can mean many things on its own, but in combination, they can tell you with very high accuracy whether you are in a one-sided relationship or no.
1. You always initiate your communication
If you've noticed that you are the only one who initiates your communication, for example, you always the first one to call, send a text message even when she does not answer for a long time, or engage a video chat, this may mean that you are in a one-sided relationship. Try to stop calling or texting your partner first, if you see that your partner feels absolutely fine, when he or she doesn't hear anything from you in days, it means that you have big problems in your relationship.
2. You are the one who always gives
This one is very broad, but the general rule is very simple. You see, in healthy relationships, both partners are willing to give and receive. On the other hand, in any type of unhealthy relationship, for example, in one-sided relationships, people have problems with giving and receiving. Your partner may find many different reasons why he or she "can't" sacrifice his or her time and energy to do something pleasant for you. But this is a clear indicator of existing problems in your relationship.
3. You apologize for everything
Here is another interesting thing that you may notice in your partner. As you may know, frequently, manipulators get engaged in one-sided relationships. This is why your partner can be very good at making you apologize and feel bad for absolutely normal things. For example, in a one-sided relationship with a manipulator, you will feel guilty for your emotions or desire to talk about something that has been on your mind. Remember, relationships exist to make people happy, and it is far from normal if you feel guilty and uncomfortable around your partner.
4. His or her friends are always the priority for your partner
If your partner rarely or never invites you to come with him or her when they feel like going out, this is a very bad sign. In other words, your partner wants to have fun and interactions, but not with you. This is why, for him or her, friends will always be the priority, while you will remain in a shadow until your partner needs something from you. The situation is especially clear if your partner tends to blame you for something when you point out this fact. In this case, you definitely should have a hard conversation with him or her about this.
5. Your partner ignores problems in your relationship
As you already know, even the happiest romantic relationships encounter problems. This happens since we are very different, and it is not possible to find common ground without arguments. Therefore, if you are the one who always initiates hard conversations about problems in your relationship, while your partner only makes you feel bad for doing this, it may mean that your significant other is not interested in being with you at all. Your partner doesn't want to deal with problems in your relationship just because she doesn't care enough.
6. You always justify your partner’s behavior to your friend and family
You have become very skilled in finding good reasons why your partner didn't show up to the party, or family dinner, or never does anything special for you. It is not okay when one partner constantly makes excuses for being treated badly. Also, it is not okay to believe that even though all those problems and nerves that your partner regularly causes you, he or she deep down loves you. Remember, if your partner never shows you his or her love, it only means that your significant other has no love for you at all.
Main Reasons You Should Treat One-Sided Relationships
Any type of one-sided relationships with family is very harmful to your emotional state. According to scientists, our emotions directly affect our physical health. Hence, living in constant stress and guilt is definitely not the best idea if you want to be healthy. Remember, everyone deserves to be happy, especially in romantic relationships with significant others. If, after analyzing your relationship, you have found that you have big problems, you must do something about it just now. Don't wait until the perfect moment because it will never come. Instead, get ready to be calm and persuasive if you want to save your relationship.
Wrong understanding of normal relationships
People in one-sided relationships often believe that it is absolutely normal when one partner contributes more than the other one. So, the first thing that you need to change in yourself is your attitude toward this problem. There is nothing normal in feeling bad in a romantic relationship.
Your own life also matters
Nope, we are not saying that you must become selfish. But, living for someone else without receiving anything in return is very exhausting. This explains why you may feel very depressed and powerless. So, stop living for your significant other, and start thinking about yourself and your interests just a little bit more.
There's no place for selfishness in a relationship
Like we have said before, you should never be selfish in relationships. In turn, you must never let your partner be selfish in your relationship too. Remember, in healthy relationships, people literary live for each other and can only be happy when the other partner is happy.
One-Sided Relationships Advice
Surely, dealing with a one-sided relationship is very hard, and often we all need some one-sided relationships advice to help us get through the hard times. Before doing anything, we recommend you to make a final decision whether you want to save your relationships with your current partner or not. If you want to break up with him or her, then get ready for a very short period of very sharp emotional pain. On the other hand, if you want to try to save your relationships, then be very persuasive and get ready to work very hard.
1. Keep your friends close
Why people have friends? This is a very interesting question, isn't it? We have friends because with them we feel happier. Plus, sometimes, we need their support. So, as you have already guessed, when you are dealing with one-sided love, you need both support and an additional source of happiness. Just remember not to be selfish with your friends since friendship also requires contribution from all friends. To begin with, you may more often invite them to your place or hang out with them to show your partner that you also have other people around you.
2. Keep calm
Remember, even in the worst situations, calm people always have the upper hand. Yes, during your arguments in a healthy romantic relationship, none of you needs to have the upper hand since you both seek for the best result of this argument. But, first, your romantic relationship is far from healthy, secondly by being stormy you are risking causing more problems than you will manage to resolve during your arguments.
3. Forget about the guilt
Something is wrong in your relationship, and you are the one who is trying to do something about it. So, why on Earth you are feeling guilty for this? Guilt is only for those who have done something bad, while you are trying to do good for the sake of both yourself and your partner. Yes, please, feel the guilt when you happen to offend your partner, but never allow other people to make you feel guilty for your desire to be loved and desired.
We hope that after reading this article, you will be able to analyze your relationship and learn whether you have problems or not. If you find yourself having a one-sided relationship, don't hesitate to do something to fix this problem. No matter how you decide to deal with this problem, you need to surround yourself with support from your closest people. If you want to save your relationships, you may make a list of reasons why you want to end it. Show this list to your partner and try to find ways to fix those problems if you both want to save your love. Remember, you must never take your partner's love for granted, as love cries out for mutuality and respect.