Sex on the First Date: Pros, Cons & the Modern Approach

Men and women perceive sex on a first date in different ways. Women's associations are romance and love, instant fatal passion. Men's — are pleasant sensations and achievement of the goal. Girls think that they need to prepare for sex. It is very important for them how a man will treat them if they say "yes" and what attitude to them will be in the case of refusal. Men, in their majority, are for fast sex.

So, is it good or bad? Let’s figure out everything.

Sex and first date: friends or foes?

In our time, men don’t consider chastity the main virtue of women. They marry not only virgins. But, they are more respectful to a woman who refused sex on the first date (if the meeting occurred not only for the sake of sex). However, there are many examples when those couples who spend hours in bed after the meeting create wonderful and strong families after a while. But often, those who had sex only after a wedding break up after a couple of months. Agree that the compatibility of couples in intimate lives is a very important factor of their happiness and harmony.

What do men think?

There is no unanimous opinion about early first date sex. Some men denounce women in such situations. However, on the other hand, chastity may cause bewilderment and questions of men: “Wasn’t anyone interested in this girl before me?” or “Maybe her inaccessibility is caused by the desire to play, to draw out more money for gifts?” The myth that a girl who agreed to sex on a first date is frivolous has dispelled like a haze nowadays.

Most of the male population don’t mind having sex on the first date and don’t consider this an immoral act. And, besides, men regard such a step as confirmation of interest, trust in his person and it increases his self-esteem. There is a belief among women that a man is a hunter and if he quickly gets what he wants, then he will lose interest in a woman. It is not so. Sex is viewed as communication in our time, the opportunity to get to know each other better.

Pros and cons of first date sex

First date sex is one of the most controversial and discussed topics among men and women. There are many pros and cons on both sides.

Let’s start with pros:

1. It is a great way to satisfy your sexual desire

First of all, the intimate relationship on the first date is a great way to satisfy your sexual desire. A position when no one owes nothing to anyone and is not obliged in any way is very convenient. Nobody forces you to meet this person again and you will not be ashamed of your impulse. Even if you are not able to build a long love relationship, you will “cool down” your hormones and increase your self-esteem in the future.

2. Sex opens up another important aspect of a relationship

Is it OK to have sex on the first date? Yes, it is. At least because you can understand whether it is “your” person or not. Of course, human qualities are more important. But people can’t live without sex. So, compatibility of partners is also relevant. Human temperaments are different and it is quite difficult to establish normal sexual relations sometimes.

3. If there is chemistry, then you will not be able to escape it

Should you have sex on a first date? Whatever your ideas and principles are, you will not be able to escape love chemistry. It's exactly this love chemistry that flashed between you, which makes people lose their heads and forget about their principles. We must admit that sometimes we lose our heads from the passion that leads us to sex on the first date.

4. This excites in a second

You are attracted to each other by the desire and only by the desire. You didn’t know this person yesterday and will forget her tomorrow, so you can do what you want. You will be “open” in sex as well as she will. Perhaps you will get unusual pleasure from the rush of unbridled passion and experience an incredible explosion of emotions with a new partner. Even if a relationship doesn’t develop in the future, this sex will remain in your memory as a bright adventure.

5. It is beautiful

It is almost like in a movie. You have only one night and you both understand this. Therefore, you will not leave anything for later. You will get a life experience that will help you avoid mistakes in communicating with the opposite sex later.

Cons:

1. Divergence of interests

Often it happens that a certain spark or rather a special interest hasn’t arisen. So, it may take a couple of dates that will lead to passionate sex.

2. You have to have something more than sexual attraction

Sex is not particularly limited. However, a man and a woman should be connected with something more. But if there is nothing but sexual desire, then sex on a first date may be the first and the last.

3. You may misunderstand each other

You will immediately make conclusions about each other after sex. But what kind of conclusion — disappointment or, vice versa, delight. Here you just have to rely on luck and the mind of a partner.

4. It will make a woman an easy prey

You will not have to give flowers, caress and say warm words. It is simply because you will know that a particular girl will be just for sex and you will not have to win her heart. But agree that everyone wants romance sometimes.

So, there are pluses and minuses of sex on the first date. You just need to understand and be aware of the fact that sex is different. If people saw each other in a nightclub and immediately had sex — then this is one thing. But if a man and a woman know each other for some time, and then go out on a date that ends with sex — it's quite another. Probably, it's better to get to know each other (walk under the moon a little, etc) and only then you can start a closer relationship.

Why more people have sex on the first date

In our age, when civilization has gone far ahead and the sexual revolution has spread all around the world, a successful acquaintance might end with sex. This is not surprising and is considered normal. However, it is easier to overcome difficult periods of relations when there are friendship, trust, and understanding in addition to sex. In cases where everything is initially "held" only on the physical intimacy, relationships may end because of the smallest trifle.

Asking the question “To have or not to have sex on the first date?”, answer yourself what exactly you want from this relationship. If you like a person, you are free and independent, and both of you want to do it — this is your choice.

Breaking down a 3-date rule

There is an unspoken three-date rule according to which young people have sex on the 3rd date. The principle is the next: if you don’t like each other, then it will be revealed by the 3rd meeting. If there is mutual sympathy, then it is quite normal to have sex. According to a poll of the OkCupid dating site, 46% of people consider the possibility of sex on a first date, unlike 40% of those, who say that they will not do it. (14% ignored the question).

Why people have sex on the first date

Sex is an important part of communication between a man and a woman. And, as in any communication, it is worth to be attentive to oneself, periodically asking the question: "What do I want and expect from this relationship? How my actions may lead to the desired goal?" or “Is sex on the first date a bad idea?”

If many people are absolutely comfortable to have sex on a first date, why is it considered a taboo? This is partly due to unmet expectations. Some women, who have sex on the first date, consider it an act of love. They experience feelings and then they suffer when men don’t invite them to a second date. If you love someone and want to have romantic relations, but this person doesn’t feel the same, of course, you will be hurt. If you have had sex with this person, this didn’t necessarily mean that she or he would continue a relationship with you. You have to understand that such sex doesn’t involve long-term relationships. And it's not because people have sex. A man may break up a relationship even after he gets sex on the fifth date. And it will be emotionally worse because a girl will be more attached to him.

Also, many young people don’t follow the ideas: “I need to marry at a certain age” or “I need to find a partner urgently”. In addition, many men support polygamous relationships.

Everyone should understand that casual sex is just casual and doesn’t involve long-term relationships. Perhaps you don’t know someone when you meet on a first date, but there is a possibility that a person may attract you before you get to know each other well. Therefore, the rule of not having sex on a first date doesn’t work nowadays as it was before. Just follow your feelings and desires, they will tell you how to act.

So, is it wrong to have sex on the first date? Perhaps you should answer this question by yourself. The passion that has arisen between you is not a sin and can be truly amazing. But it's also true that physical intimacy will bring much more pleasure when you touch each other's souls. A woman whose heart should be conquered seems a more valuable prize. She not only invokes respect but also warms up the interest of her companion. If a man is interested in her, he will push back the lust and wait. The choice is yours!

Sex on a first date is always a risk, always a little lottery. However, there is one exception: when the eyes burn from the first seconds and both hearts beat wildly, when the wave of a mad passion covers you, when desires are guessed from a half-word, when it seems that you have known each for a thousand years, and sex is coming like a hurricane, like an avalanche in the mountains. What can we advise? Find a suitable place as quickly as possible but retain at least the remnants of critical thinking. For example, set an alarm clock on the phone in order not to forget about work immersing in the abyss of passion.