More than half of all couples eventually break up. However, this sad statistics cannot help you in your particular case. Therefore, you are to notice signs you should break up in order to make sure the relationship works for you. Some relationships work and some don’t. Often people just don’t suit each other but are unable to admit it. Sometimes it is really difficult to let go, but staying together does not feel any easier. There are certain patterns that can often be noticed in relationships in a state of decay. Read the following info to understand how to know if you should break up with someone.
Signs You Should Break Up
Frequent arguments and fights that happen on a regular basis are bad signs. Obviously, the more partners argue the worse it is for them both. Relationships rarely end peacefully. Partners can have numerous different things to be upset about. Partners can have different things from their relationships or just hold grudges. It does not really matter much what the fights are about. What is most important is how often they occur and to what they lead. If they happen more and more often with one fight leading to another, it is bad. Moreover, in the absence of successful resolution, fights happen to repeat. Occurring again and again, they exhaust both partners emotionally and transform the relationship into a war-zone. Constant quarrels can cause stress, anxiety, and depression. To get the best idea of how to know when you should break up, pay attention to the frequency and intensity of the arguments.
Lack of Trust
When you ask yourselves “should we break up?” you should also consider another question: “do you trust each other?” Trust is a cornerstone of every successful relationship. Only those partners are happy together who can trust each other. Being sincere, honest, and trustworthy is a primary objective of partners involved in serious long-term relationships. Partners should have no secrets. It is useful to be completely transparent. It is impossible to co-exist and be together happily without full confidence in each other. Trust is the source of this confidence. Partners should be able to confide in each other and expect full emotional support. This can only happen when partners trust each other.
Typically it happens so that towards the end of a relationship partners get less and less pleasure from each other. It is especially important in regard to sex. Partners get used to each other over time and start value sexual intercourse less. Less sex or less pleasure from intercourse can cause partners to become alienated from each other. Moreover, unresolved conflicts, anxiety, mood disorders, and stress can discourage partners from having sex with each other. Moreover, it can cause them to cheat and / or break up.
Less Time Together
Partners in serious long-term relationships gradually come to spend more and more time with each other. They become more and more tightly connected over time. First, they date. Then, start to live together. Then, they spend holidays with each other and so on. Unfortunately, it is the same here as with the sexual intercourse because partners get used to each other over time. Eventually, they start value each other less and spend time together with less pleasure. Or they can even start to avoid each other. Often partners start to simply take each other for granted. To notice these slight changes over time is quite difficult. What started as passionate attraction to each other and a desire to stay together forever might end up with complete disregard of each other’s existence. Thus, pay attention to the amount and quality of time spent together to know if you should you break up or not.
Most cheating episodes eventually cause a breakup. Cheating indicates a critical lack of trust. It can also show that partners do not suit each other sexually or physically. Sometimes, one of the partners can be in need of more attention that is being received in relationships. Nevertheless, cheating in most cases leads to a breakup. Unless, of course, it is one time and both partners are capable to deal with it. It happens as well. But the most advisable thing is to reconsider relationships completely after a cheating episode. It might be so that to break up is the best to option.
There are certain relationships called toxic relationships. Partners in such relationships are not equal. One of the partners might act as a parasite or a vampire dependent on the other one. A partner that acts as a provider can feel responsibility and duty to take care of the other partner. Therefore, partners who are not independent in the relationship actually harm each other. Such toxic connection is neither healthy, nor useful. Unless each partner is independent enough to play equal roles in a relationship, a couple wouldn’t be happy.
Partners who are about to break up usually pay less and less attention to each other towards the end. It is entirely possible for partners to completely disregard each other as human beings and trade offenses. Partners can ignore and avoid each other. These are all bad signs because it clearly indicates that partners are not happy in a relationship. So, how to know if you should break up? Be aware of how much attention you and your partner pay to each other.
Both partners carry a share of duties and responsibilities. A relationship suffers when the distribution of responsibilities is unequal. When one of the partners starts to do more, the other partner might get passive. On the contrary, a heavier burden will exhaust one of the partners who carry more responsibility. Therefore, both partners need to contribute equally to their relationship. Otherwise, they tend to get offended and apathetic.
Partners in the relationships that don’t work effectively tend to experience stress. It can take different forms. Emotional exhaustion, psychological pressure, and feelings of anxiety can cause partners to experience discomfort and confusion. Partners might have problems with sleeping, eating, and working. It can be difficult for them to concentrate or enjoy themselves. It is also highly likely for partners in troublesome relationships to have obsessive thoughts. Being nervous, angry or frustrated can also feature the presence of stressful conditions. The hardest to deal with are hysterical conditions when partners feel helpless to control their emotional outbursts.
When Should You Break Up
There is no definite way to indicate when the right time to break up is. Every couple comes to it in its own time. There is no average amount of time partners can or should be together. Therefore, you can’t know for sure when you should break up or even if you need to break up at all. Even saying to your partner “I think we should break up” might not indicate the end of a relationship. Partners need to come to terms with what they are to each other and both agree to part ways. The best answer to this problematic question is to break up when you feel like it. You should break up when you feel that your relationship isn’t working. Breaking up is appropriate when partners are not happy because of each other.
Should I Break Up With My Girlfriend: A Quiz
Are You Happy Together?
People form close personal relationships in order to be happy together. That is only logical. Nobody wants to be together for the purpose of mutual suffering. Therefore, if you’re not happy, it might indicate that a breakup is possible.
Do You Trust Each Other?
There’s no point in being together if partners can’t confide in each other. Trust is a cornerstone of every relationship. And it is due to the trust issues that partners often break up. You need to trust each other if you want to get the most out of your relationship.
Do You See Yourselves Together in Future?
Just the same as your mutual history and shared past hold you together so does your plans. How do you imagine your future together? Do your plans, dreams, and aspirations are mutually agreed upon? How does each of you fit in the plans of another?
Do You Want to Have a Family?
Most couples that develop in the direction of serious long-term relationships plan to have a family. Still, the exceptions are possible. And yet you two should know for sure whether you plan to have a family or not. This question can often become a subject for a discussion between partners.
What About Marriage?
Breakups often happen around important stages in relationships. For example, your anniversary, engagement or marriage can not only strengthen your relationship but ruin it as well. For example, an anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks might cause partners to rethink their relationship. Partners can start looking back to evaluate their relationship to the present moment. Or a marriage planned for a certain date can be delayed causing partners to doubt whether they should be together or not. Certain important dates and significant events cause stress and might change partners’ mind about their relationship.
Do You Attract Each Other?
It is paramount for partners to attract each other physically for the purpose of sexual pleasure. Without this, partners are more likely to cheat on each other and, eventually, break up.
Do You Have Unresolved Conflicts?
Unresolved conflicts are like anchors that keep us in the past. You and your partner should avoid having unresolved conflicts. In case there are such conflicts, they should be dealt with. Otherwise, partners can miss the point when the conflict becomes impossible to resolve. This, in its turn, can lead to a breakup.
Why Have You Two Been Together All This Time?
Partner you were together with for some time might be unable to imagine breaking up. It may not occur to them that such possibility always exists. Partners in most of the couples think they are going to be together for eternity. This is naïve. Therefore, you should know for sure what made you be together for so long.
Is There Anybody Else?
When a third party is involved, a breakup is even more possible. A partner who has an interest on the side is to decide what to do and how. Or a partner who is a victim in this case should take a stand and express their opinion regarding the pressing matters.
Are We Going to Be Happier Apart?
Happiness is more important than being in a relationship. Whether you are in a relationship or not, your primary objective should be happiness. Keep that in mind and think of what is going to make you happier – your relationship or a breakup?
Now, asking yourself a question “should we break up or stay together?” you will know how to answer it. Always remember that people in serious long-term relationship work together for the mutual benefit. It is better to break up if partners hurt each other.