Awkward silence, uncomfortable questions – a first date can turn into a real catastrophe if two people don’t know how to properly communicate. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the first meeting is not always the best in life, but there are life hacks to bring the first date conversation a little closer to the standard of Hollywood romantic melodramas.
The first impression is the most important thing, and it doesn’t matter where you meet – in a restaurant, in the park or on single women sites. If the girl yawns from communication with you, then you will not have the second date. Of course, you can write after the date, “I liked you so much that I became speechless. Give me one more chance!” Maybe she will take pity on you. But it’s better to do everything right in time. So, let’s consider what good questions to ask a girl when the first meeting occurs.
How Important Is the First Conversation With a Girl on a Date?
Experts conducted an independent study to find out how people choose potential partners. The results showed that after the first minute of the conversation, people decide whether they want to go on a date with their interlocutors. In other words, the first impression really plays a huge role. In addition, they found out an interesting detail about the preferences of men and women: women pay more attention to the mind of a potential partner, while men primarily look at women’s appearance (even if they meet ladies online). This study also showed that men and women very often choose those people whom they consider equal in their social status.
Whatever the reason you are going on your first date is, it can be very exciting. Of course, such excitement can be pleasant, especially if you feel some chemistry, even if you will be a little shy or feel not quite comfortable at the very beginning. In this case, your communication skills can help you. The information you receive about each other will help you decide whether you want to meet this person for the second and third time or even start a romantic relationship.
Tips and Examples of Questions to Ask a Girl on a Date
These questions to ask a girl meeting for the first time will let you know what she is. They may make her think about some important things, and you possibly find common topics for conversation. So, what are good questions to ask a girl?
1. Are you married?
Someone will think that if a woman comes on a date, then she is absolutely free. But this is one of the most important questions to ask on a first date. “We are divorced” and “I am free” is not the same as “Well...we live separately,” “We are going to break up,” and so on. Make sure that the girl with whom you are going to continue communication and make plans is free and ready for a new, serious relationship.
2. What kind of men do you like?
This is a question that we advise men to ask as often as possible. First of all, you can understand what kind of woman is in front of you, what she expects from a relationship, what kind of men she dreams of at night, and so on. And if you have not just a friendly meeting with her but the first date, then you can’t do without this question at all.
3. How do you spend your weekend?
We also believe that it is important to find out from your new friend her favorite way to relax. Just ask what she usually likes to do. The woman will tell you about her interests, priorities, social life. Maybe she is an introvert who likes to spend a day off reading books, or she attends social events. If this or that way of rest seems uninteresting to you or, on the contrary, exciting, then preliminary conclusions about compatibility can be made already at the first meeting.
4. What are your goals?
What to ask a girl when the first meeting? Ask her about plans for the future. A normal woman will calmly react to such words. She will even be pleased that she meets such an understanding man. Most likely, she has certain plans for the next 5 years. She will be happy to talk about how she sees the future and why she is ready to build a family.
5. What are you sorry about?
Each person has awkward moments of life or even some shameful experiences in the biography. Of course, you shouldn’t “dig” too deeply, learning about such facts – the first dates are not yet an occasion to get under a person’s skin. However, sometimes such interesting questions to ask a girl also to help find out more information about her values and what she considers more important for herself.
6. Are you close with your family?
This is one of the very simple and always relevant questions to ask a girl. By asking her, you can get some idea of the conditions under which the personality of your interlocutor was formed. And also adolescence is no less important period in the formation of character. So, listen carefully to a new friend and draw conclusions.
7. What do you dislike about people?
This is one of the most important questions to ask a girl when meeting her for the first time that helps understand whether the future is possible in your relationship. If the girl can’t stand the mess, and you are used to throwing things around, a conflict can arise out of nothing. Find out in advance what annoys her in others and tell her what you don’t like.
How Not to Turn a Date into an Examination
A date is a bright event. To be called successful, it must be remembered by you and your new friend. Beware of actions that can make it boring. Do you remember the film The Naked Truth? When it comes to embarrassing behavior on a first date, the heroine of Katherine Heigl is immediately remembered. In one scene, she is having dinner with a man whom she questions so meticulously as if they have an interview. Come on! You choose a girl, not a job! Nobody likes when they are asked too many first date questions.
On a date, you need to lively chat but just make sure that your conversation doesn’t turn into an examination. Talking about a hobby and, say, traveling is enough for the first date. Share your interests to find common ground. Just don’t talk about the weather or why a woman hasn’t met anyone yet.
Firstly, you need to try to reduce the distance, sometimes speak on some piquant topics. This is very important because if you pretend to be too conservative, there will be no emotions that we all need. Secondly, you can tell the girl why you like her so much. This will be an incredibly pleasant gesture that will show her your sincerity and openness.
What Is Better Not to Ask?
The first date is a pretty important event. If you want to succeed in this matter, then it is advisable to prepare. Communication is one of the main criteria for successful completion. We often say something spontaneously, out of habit, without thinking. The same goes for questions. On the first date, such trifles can spoil the situation pretty much. If the answer to the question is difficult, then the conversation slows down, the person is worried, and the date is gradually straying from the desired rhythm. So, what are the bad questions to ask a girl when the first meeting?
1. What dating apps do you use?
This is one of the inappropriate topics to talk about with a girl. Why are you interested in this information? Is there really nothing more to ask? The topic of applications constantly raised in the conversations of people who go on a date but lead them in the wrong direction. Being on a date, a guy and a girl use their mobile phones, talk for some time about electronic technology. Then the conversation comes to a standstill, as both begin to check their emails and stop paying attention to each other.
2. Are you crazy?
A man begins to complain to a woman that he is not lucky with girls, and there are a lot of people with strangeness around him. Don’t show your sense of humor already in the second minute of the meeting since such words can be interpreted in two ways. The girl will be surprised at your instinct for crazy women and will not want to stand on one row with them.
3. What do you think about our relationship?
This question puts her in an awkward position. The girl will think that you have already despaired of meeting your real love and are ready to have a relationship with the first person you meet. In your words, notes of hopelessness can be traced, which, in turn, can greatly annoy her. She probably hasn’t decided yet whether you would have a second date and you already ask her about such things.
4. Do you want to have children?
Relationships experts warn that the first few dates should go on a positive wave. Only in this case, the couple has a chance to continue communication at a more serious level. Questions about children tend to scare some women. A red light is lit in front of their eyes, and the imagination draws a frightening routine life. These topics should be raised in the future when a couple is planning a wedding.
5. Why did your last relationship end?
Past relationships can raise bad memories that spoil the mood. These are not good questions to ask on a date. Therefore, avoid any topics related to exes. Also, you don’t need to rush to talk about sex or your intimate life. This doesn’t mean that conversations about sex are forbidden, but discussions on this topic will not be accepted by everyone correctly.
Knowing when to ask a girl out after meeting her and what to say on a date is very important. After all, we want to leave a good impression, but nervousness and social anxiety prevent us from maintaining a comfortable conversation. So, we should remember what we need to say and what we can’t discuss on a date if we want it to go well.