At the very beginning of a romantic relationship, lovers tend to devote all their time to each other. Having arranged their "love nest," partners get a chance to stay together literally every minute. At first, it brings them great pleasure, but over time, people want to diversify their leisure. They want to meet with friends more often, devote time to a favorite hobby, stay a little outside the house. It’s necessary to say that this desire is normal because the relationship is a union of two completely different and free people, who have the right to their own space. It’s great when both partners understand that. Otherwise, any pastime without a partner may turn into a scandal or even a breakup. Therefore, it seems extremely important to put the things right, figuring out why each partner should have their own space. However, before you understand how to give someone space, it’s necessary to find out what this space means.
What is space?
The concept of “space” is much broader than it seems at first glance. It extends to everything that is important for a person, helps them regain strength and be who they are.
This space can include some ideas, hobbies, people, and everything, which is of great importance for a man. Since everyone has their own length of personal boundaries, you should show greater sensitivity and caution, at least initially, to find them.
It’s quite hard for people to see these very boundaries, but if you notice that your initiative causes discomfort in a person, then take a step back and don’t put pressure. This is normal. Respect your partner’s space like your own one.
Why do people violate their partners’ space?
It’s obvious that violation of someone’s space is an issue, which has its root causes. Nothing comes out of the blue. Practice shows that there are three main reasons.
One of the partners lacks emotions, impressions, and they try to get them with the help of their beloved one. Such a person can often violate their partner’s space, ask for something, try to make them spend time only with them, etc. As you understand, such a motive provides no benefit to both partners, and their relationship begins to deteriorate.
Mistrust and a thirst to control.
If a person has increased anxiety and jealousy, they can perceive the partner’s space as a threat and become a scout and a spy who does not honor another person's space. Of course, this is wrong. In relationships, everyone should have their own space, time for themselves and communication with others.
Lack of love.
It often happens that a person has their own problems, which take their time, attention and strength. It is difficult to give enough attention to another person and show your feelings in such a situation. As a result, the partner may feel deprived, start digging into themselves and get all worked up. This is more typical of women. When a girl feels a lack of love, she cannot find a common language with her boyfriend and doesn’t know how to give him space.
How to give him space?
It’s very important for every man to have the right to private correspondence with friends and, sometimes, even to flirt with other women. The truth is that when women give space in a relationship, they reduce the likelihood of cheating on them on the part of their boyfriends. In this case, the men adhere to the following rule, “I trust you and let you communicate and flirt with others, you trust me in what I do.” If you are a girl who is in love with your boyfriend, and you are afraid of losing him, it’s not a reason to call him every half hour and check whether everything is okay. He is a grownup man who can stand up for himself. Excessive control on your part only irritates and does not help strengthen your relationship in any way. So, if your boyfriend does not have enough space, and you are about to break up, the following tips can help you fix the issue and answer the question, “How to give your boyfriend space?”
1. Turn the page.
Let everything happen by itself. Try to get rid of anxiety, attempts to control and sense of disappointment. Just enjoy the moment. When you allow events to take their course, usually, everything falls into place.
2. Find something that will take your mind off.
It can be a hobby, work or friends. Go outside, take a walk, get some air. This will show you that you can live your life, and you can stop chasing your boyfriend. A guy needs space to reflect, breath and do what he likes. He will start missing you much faster and call back.
3. Respect his choice and space.
The more respect and space you give him, the closer he will want to be to you because he will understand that no one else will treat him like that. Guys do not like demands and run away from excessive pressure. Let him be himself without any requirements and conditions.
4. Become his best friend.
Listen carefully when he talks, do not comment until he has finished the story. Let your comments be positive and friendly. Do not criticize and do not judge! Be a friend to him, let him feel comfortable and relaxed next to you. Over time, he will start sharing all thoughts and feelings with you.
How to give space in a relationship and come closer?
How often do you think about giving space in a relationship? Yes, you love each other and “want” to spend all the time together. However, usually, this is only about the beginning of a relationship. If you have been together for many months or even years, you should stop smothering your partner with love. There are three effective ways to give space in your relationship, become closer and spark to your partner again.
This is not about separate bedrooms. In some countries, this tradition is very common, but sometimes, people forget about it. A private area may imply even a small shelf or a separate workplace. The main rule is that only the owner can have access to it. Even if this very area of your beloved one is in chaos, you should neither touch anything nor do the cleaning. Let the partner knows that you don’t go through their papers or rearrange things around, this will make your relationship more trustworthy.
Spend time away from each other. How to give space in a relationship? If only a few people agree to spend a holiday in different cities or even countries, it’s quite possible to hang out a couple of hours separately. A woman can go to a fitness class or visit a beauty salon, and a man can meet friends or go swimming. In this case, constant calls are also unnecessary. Give space, and you will meet with new feelings after a break.
Communication is an important and necessary thing. However, you can face a situation when a partner wants neither talk nor explain the reasons for such a state. They can just say that they want some solitude and that they are not in a talking mood. If you love your partner, you will understand and will not insist. It all adds up individually for each couple. The time that partners spend together depends only on their characters and preferences. Besides, if a man and a woman love each other, they will always find a compromise. Provide the partner with their private area and free time and, as a result, coming home and sharing news will be a pleasant need, not an obligation. 2-3 hours a day give the opportunity to miss a partner and give new sensations.
- What you shouldn’t do if you are close to the breaking point?
When all bets are off, and you are searching for “giving space in a relationship after a fight,” the main thing is to fix the situation and not make everything worse. There are things, which you shouldn’t do if you want to meet this challenge.
- Devote all free time to the partner.
If you are trying to create a relationship based on mutual understanding and love, do not violate your partner’s space. Awareness of freedom allows both sides to feel happy and confident in each other. A man should remember that only giving a woman space and not demanding constant reports, he will create a strong union based on trust and mutual respect. So, if your girlfriend is going to go to the concert of her favorite band, don’t hurry to learn all the songs by heart. Let your partner enjoy this concert with other fans and her friends. You can meet with friends or organize your own pastime. However, even if you stay at home and read the book, you should not call your loved one or write text messages.
Do you remember how little children are embarrassed when moms kiss or hug them in front of friends? Your soulmate can feel the same when you treat them with undue care. Everything should be within the reasonable limits, and it is pointless to constantly remind of wearing a hat or tell when they should come home. After all, a partner can take care of themselves. How to give someone space without losing them? Don’t show artificial concern just because you feel guilty about something or try to mask your control freakiness.
- How to give your girlfriend space?
First of all, you should find out why you try to violate her space. This is about your complexes, fears and bad experience. However, to have a healthy relationship, you should deal with your inner demons.
No one likes to be controlled. Constant calls or messages can irritate even the most patient and calm person. If you follow closely every single movement of your girlfriend, checking the location and incoming messages, you can forget about a happy relationship.
If there is an undesirable situation, for example, your girlfriend stays late at work, you shouldn’t meet her with a phrase, "You do not love me," or with a reproachful gaze. Requests for forgiveness or explanation do not guarantee the cessation of such a thing in the future. On the contrary, they destroy the desire to be with you. So, how to give your girlfriend space without losing her? Stop blaming her without a reason.
If you have trust issues, this is a big problem because trust is the basis of the reliable relationships. If you check her social networks, phone numbers or try to find her cheating on you, she feels pressure and a strong desire to leave. Over time, disappointment from the fact that you do not trust her and try to check every word or follow every step will eventually beat the love. How to give a girl space without losing her? If you cannot deal with your trust issues on your own, see a specialist and ask her for help.
Give her space and she will come back.
If she has broken up with you, but you still love each other, then there is a chance to fix the situation. Try to follow the above-mentioned tips and take the first steps towards your relationship. However, you should understand that it's never going to be like it was. If everything had been fine and bright at the very beginning of your relationship, but you spoiled everything, then you have much work to do. You will need to make great efforts to maintain the strength of your relationship.