When you want a good job - you spend hours and years at school and then university, working on getting it. When you want to master some kind of sports - you spend days and hours working out and practicing. And when you want a wonderful relationship with a nice girl, you… Go online?
These days online dating has become extremely comfortable – you can browse and arrange dates with an endless number of pretty girls without even stepping out of your room. However, that doesn’t mean it is an easy thing to do. The moment you get yourself into the stuff, dozens of questions appear: how to write an online dating profile that works, what words to use to magnet women, how to start a conversation and so on. Naturally, a lot of guys tend to make loads of mistakes when it comes to online dating. So, we’d like to point out some major mistakes often made by men when meeting girls online. But first, let’s make it clear how online dating works.
Online dating: how it works in 21st century
Online dating is basically a way of meeting people with romantic intents. Nowadays the number of dating websites and apps is permanently growing, with some platforms aimed at particular users and their interests being initiated. For example, there are dating apps for teens, for Christians, dating options for sports-oriented people, resources for people searching just for one-night stands and eventually sites for those who are interested in stable relationships and family-building. In our article, we will try to focus on the most common kind of dating resources - one that does its job to bring two individuals together for a long-term relationship. As may be expected, in order to be aware how online dating works, you have to try it out yourself!
How does online dating work? Well, once you’ve decided you are actually going to give it a shot, the first thing to be done is to create your profile. Right after you are supposed to add some information about yourself – personality, hobbies, whatever you like and, finally, you are ready to go “hunt” for some girlies.
Online dating possesses quite a fine reputation, and deservedly so. It’s become totally normal to get to know somebody on the Internet and define whether or not there could be a romantic connection between you. Accordingly, if you wish to turn into a dating pro, you should learn how to make online dating work.
What ruins online dating: mistakes most men make
Bad profile picture/no picture
This one is in top 5 common online dating mistakes: not having a profile picture uploaded makes you literally invisible. No woman will really bother to take her time to contact you or even visit your page if you don’t take the trouble to place a decent picture of you. But as you may think, it’s not enough to have some pictures. Each one needs to be of enough good quality, to stand you out from the crowd. Most guys on the online dating sites have really bad photos. Thus, get rid of the photos if you can’t really see your face in a picture, it’s blurred, it’s a night time selfie (a complete no-no) or even worse - a bare-chested photo taken in front of a mirror somewhere in a roadside café’s WC with stains of ketchup on it.
In a nutshell: you absolutely need to take your time to pick and upload a nice picture. Ask a friend with a professional camera to make some high-def pictures of you and you can finally leave this worry behind.
Clear-cut profile pictures are an absolute minimum when it comes to successful online dating. And yeah, you gonna need more than one. One that shows your face clearly (no special filters added, not looking directly into the camera), one whole-body-shot (necessarily smiling), and one with friends around, preferably also women.
The last one is important because it shows women that you actually a social and outgoing person. You can compose almost heroic novels about how cool you are, but first and foremost, the biggest part of visitors won’t even bother to read it and secondly, only seeing is believing. You can upload more pictures if you like, mostly vacation or activity pics, but no more than 5.
Perhaps the major thing amid the biggest online dating mistakes. While crafting an online profile you may catch a bit of a headache. You want to look smart but not nerdy, gentle but not womanlike. Oftentimes, guys end up creating some sort of job resumé with their top selling points. They highlight their most outstanding physical characteristics and character traits. Yet females may probably be underestimating you and considering your bio a parade of your accomplishments, according to the recent social research. They also see you as less dependable and less socially open so you will be seeing far fewer replies in the inbox. Attempt to present yourself as a reliable, simple and outspoken guy.
One more point among the most common online dating mistakes is a meaningless message flooding. “Empty” means messages that are entirely useless like “Hi”, “What’s up”, “How are you doing” and others.
They are pointless because most girls on online dating websites get tons of them on a regular basis and there is totally no reason to reply. By writing stuff like this you assume she will take the time and engage in a chat - really? Those conversation starters are also stupid because nobody really appreciates clichéd messages like “you are very beautiful”, etc. Those are either too sugary or obviously dishonest and needy.
Also, avoid boring interrogation-like questions like “What do you do?”, „How tall are you? “ and so on. As a matter of fact, what you send isn’t as important as what you don’t send. So, at all cost, avoid those types of messages mentioned above as well as sex-oriented messages of any kind.
The whole point is to establish a solid connection with her and every message is a step to the goal. So try to be creative and funny when chatting - this is not the Facebook “poking”.
Thinking it only takes money and looks
One of the biggest online dating mistakes guys make is giving up before they have even sent one message. Just because you might think beautiful women can only be attracted to moneybags and the Men’s Health cover models, or guys of a certain height or of a certain age. There are character traits that draw women like a magnet. And once you learn what those are and how to use them correctly, you can become one of the most successful online daters. You absolutely don’t have to walk past a cute girl’s profile simply because you aren’t too wealthy or handsome. Let us emphasize this again: if you learn how to use body language and communication skills correctly, you will radiate that type of sexual attraction you feel when you see stunningly beautiful young ladies.
Revealing your feelings too soon
One more aspect of online dating mistakes to avoid is sharing the way you feel too early on. Truly attractive girls are quite rare to bump into. Most guys may not realize it, but attractive girls are approached in many different ways by dozens of men all around the clock. Thus, those girls are aware of what should be expected from a guy. And one thing that scares such an experienced lady away is a guy starting the conversation with “You’re beautiful, I love you”. Just hold yourself back from doing it. Lean back. Take your time. And look for some better conversation starters.
You may often come across the complaints from female users of the online dating services who are being constantly flooded with praising messages from the same person. We are sure you step up with good intentions when flattering a girl, but just think of it, she doesn’t know who you really are, so try to walk in her shoes and think about that for a moment? Sincerity and unobtrusiveness is what works best.
Convincing her that you’re the one
How do you act when you meet a lady you really like, but it appears she doesn’t show much interest in your persona? Right you are! You do your best to convince that girl to change her mind. Well, we got news for you. You can never make a girl like you if she doesn’t. Never ever! Whatever reasons you may give, there is no possible way to make a girl feel differently about you. Just accept it. If a girl feels nothing for you, how on Earth do you plan to change that? Drop this useless method. Wasted time.
Reciting your life story
Men, just accept the fact. Autobiographies are often boring unless you are a big thing like Ryan Gosling or Mark Zuckerberg. It is really annoying when people tend to write about how many exes they use to have or how famous they are in the neighborhood and how cool they were in high school. We don’t want to hear about your life history or high school fame. All online dating mistakes usually start from a truly horrible information in your profile. Write about the hobbies you have or the places you have been to. That’s it. Nothing more is needed. Keep it short, amusing and crisp, enough to make girls wonder about your personality.
The most important thing you’ve learned from how to avoid online dating mistakes is that a woman will instantly feel like you are lying to her and pretending to be someone you actually aren’t. That’s precisely the first and last time when she replies to you.
Being not oneself
This is one of the biggest online dating mistakes guys make. You can disappoint both a woman and yourself when you see on her face the question “where is that handsome man with whom we chat?” Fill in the fields of your profile honestly and in detail (within reasonable limits). Describe your appearance (at least, in general terms), your interests, and preferences. Thus, you will not get many banal questions and it immediately will help find common points of contact, common themes, and hobbies. So, if you want to interest a woman, you should write more about your qualities and things that are interesting to you. The fact is that a woman, who is preoccupied with the problem of serious acquaintance, wants to find a soul mate with whom she can spend time cheerfully. At the same time, it is not necessary to express yourself ambiguously. It is better to immediately list your best qualities and merits because if you don’t write about it, then she may think that you simply don’t have them at all.
Forgetting about good manners
When communicating in the network, there is no physical contact between people. So, men and women behave more liberated than in real life. But don’t forget about some rules of polite conversation. This includes not only control of what you write but also the reckless habit of some men to give out too much personal information about themselves prematurely. You have never seen each other, so is it worth telling when you had the last sex and how many partners did you change? Of course, it is not and this is one of the most common online dating mistakes that men make. You also shouldn’t arrange deep interrogation while communicating with a woman. And if you are looking for a long-term relationship, don’t immediately mention sex. Women who hope to continue a long-term relationship are usually afraid to start relationships with men who need only sex. Also, it is not necessary to list all the physical parameters that you would like to see in your chosen one in the very first letters. Usually, women are not satisfied with their bodies (even if they are perfect) and such a list may scare even an owner of the parameters of a supermodel, i.e. don’t immediately ask about the weight of a woman, you can find out about this later.
Also, many men try to hide their main goal of visiting a dating site. If you are looking for a woman for an easy pastime, it’s better to write it. There will be lovers of thrill that will answer you. In this case, don’t waste the time of women who are looking for a serious relationship.
Being too intrusive
The next online dating mistakes men make are excessive perseverance and intrusiveness. Don’t overwhelm a new friend with messages (she writes you one sentence – you write her ten). Thus, you run the risk to become boring or just scare a woman. You shouldn’t ask how many men she simultaneously writes or meets (as practice shows, you will not get a truthful answer anyway). And if there is no answer for a long time, then a woman doesn’t like you. It is better to switch to another woman and don’t repeat these online dating mistakes that many guys make.
If you wonder what is the most vital point for women in a relationship, it is all about trust. Then, the #1 on the list of the deadliest online mistakes is begging for her attention when there’s no reason for one. No matter how good your salesman skills might be, you will spend all your precious time convincing her that the person you are is the one and only, but eventually it will lead to nothing. So, now you are armed with some online dating tips on how not to act with women when dating online. And now we can be 100% sure your mistakes won’t backfire on you next time you meet a nice girl on the Web. Now you are pro. Good luck!