Communication on the Internet has long ceased to be something unusual. More and more people are beginning to communicate on dating sites and they use them not just for entertainment. However, before “diving” into virtual communication, you need to know how to communicate on the Internet. Communication through the Internet often confuses even men who are very experienced in amorous affairs. The fact is that all real experience disappears when it comes to virtual communication. Girls love interesting men, so your first phrase should be really unusual and catchy to attract their attention. What to try on a dating site in order to attract the attention of a beauty?
Online dating messaging: general tips and advice
It may seem that there are no difficulties in virtual communication. It is even simpler than in real life – an interlocutor doesn’t see your facial expressions and other feelings and it means that you can show your excitement or other emotions and no one knows what you feel. In addition, if you don’t know what to answer, you can always pause, saying that you have to go, or even stop talking without explanation. However, everything is not so simple in a situation when you like some girl and just don’t know how to continue this communication. And here are online dating message tips for you:
How to message a girl: establishing an online dating dialogue
Don’t hesitate to ask women questions, of course, without giving your conversation a form of interrogation. If your interlocutor doesn’t indicate in a profile whether she is married, you can directly ask what caused such mistery and what her marital status is. It's bad to ask directly about the amount of salary, a car or an apartment, height, and weight.
What to talk about in online dating messages: the hierarchy of topics can be structured according to the following pattern:
- general things (mood, weather, holidays, weekends)
- exchange of opinions (relations between men and women, sports, politics, cars, economics, music, literature, favorite institutions and the like)
- personal information (past relationships, wishes for a future partner, plans for children).
Of course, this scheme is very approximate. However, the transition from ordinary online dating messages like “Hi! How is your mood?” to a frank conversation on exciting personal topics can take just a few minutes on the Internet. The main idea is that you need to be able to feel the mood of your interlocutor, don’t ask harsh and too personal questions while trying to get maximum information.
Learn to write to a woman
Learn how to use the search. Don’t be shy and write to everyone who arouses your interest. Don’t they answer? No problem, this is just a dating site. So, what to write in the first message? The variant “Hello, let's get acquainted” is not perfect, but you can use it in extreme cases. The best way to send the first message in online dating is just to say “Hello!”, make a compliment and ask something about her profile. But the win-win option in online dating messages that surely get responses is to write something like “Hello! I am interested in your profile” and tell about yourself. Do it briefly, but essentially. Tell about your hobbies, goals, some views on life, etc. And at the end add: “I’ll be glad to talk with you” That is all. Next, give a woman the right to respond to your proposal.
Don’t be a “handkerchief” for someone else's tears
You shouldn’t be too indifferent in correspondence, but you also shouldn’t become a “handkerchief” for a stranger. You will spend a lot of time listening to someone's suffering, and as a result, a person may experience awkwardness in personal communication in the future or you don’t like each other at all. On the Internet, there are many women who are going through a divorce or a painful parting and they want to speak out. Don’t go too far into the details of their personal tragedies: you are not a free psychologist, but a potential boyfriend. If you are interested in each other, you will have plenty of time to comfort her and listen to her stories. But for now, don’t be distracted from your main goal. Refrain from advice and comments, sympathize with a woman, write that everything will be fine, and try to turn your conversation into another direction.
Don’t go crazy
It's just a dating site. You don’t need to be on it for years. It is not necessary to write absolutely to every woman. There is no need to fight desperately for a meeting with a candidate you like. Don’t get upset if some stupid proposals are sent to you. Don’t disappoint in this kind of dating after the first unsuccessful attempts... Even after 20 unsuccessful attempts! Only calm and patient people achieve success here.
Online dating messages: great examples and rules
It is only half of the battle to attract a woman by a photo on an online dating site. You have to consolidate this achievement. A woman, choosing a man on a dating service, will not be satisfied just with your handsome appearance. You should say beautiful words, sharp phrases, and come up with witty answers. There are several simple ways to make each dialog unforgettable and here are online dating message examples so that every girl will want to communicate with you again and again.
Try to be interesting from the first messages
You are definitely a unique man. But a woman, who is corresponding with you in a chat room, maybe doesn’t know it. And will not know if you answer very briefly and don’t ask any questions. Turn into a talker. Ideally, you have to come up with some unusual questions that you can ask at the beginning of your conversation. This will help a conversation become more interesting. What can be used as a rescue circle if a conversation doesn’t develop in any way?
1. Questions that really bother you. Such questions that she can’t answer just “yes” or “no”. Use our first message online dating examples:
- What kind of men do you like?
- What are your favorite books/films/music?
- What do you like about your profession?
- Where would you like to live?
- How do you spend your free time?
- What countries do you dream to visit and why?
- What, in your opinion, is the main thing in a relationship?
Do you have pets? (This question is relevant if you also love animals and can talk about them for a long time)
2. The second message in online dating can be a message with soft humor. It helps relieve tension in a conversation and emancipates an interlocutor. It is difficult to come up with something universal. But here are some simple examples:
- Do you think that men more like photos of girls with cobras or girls with teddy bears?
- Do you think a man should look for a woman or vice versa?
- Hi! Today you came to me in a dream, but you said only your name (a variant that is perfect for ordinary and not glamorous girls. As a rule, your creativity will do its job and a girl will be curious to know everything in detail).
- You are so mysterious! Let me be the one who will reveal all your secrets. (We all know that every girl has a mystery. And when a guy writes a young lady about this, she, of course, will be interested in the fact what is so mysterious about her)
The main rule – don’t be afraid to look like a fool! First, it's better than being silent with a good woman. Secondly, even stupidity can help develop a dialog in which you show your intelligence. Thirdly, you don’t lose anything! If a conversation doesn’t work out, then just forget about this woman and communicate with the next one!
3. How to write online dating messages? Tell something about yourself in the hope that a woman may also chime in. You can tell about your cat, about your work, about your hobby, about your house, about anything you want. If a woman keeps silent – well, then, forget her.
4. Ask about something feminine; something easily solved for her but not a bit understandable for you. A woman can give you advice, feeling like the smartest girl in the world, and you may learn a lot about each other in the process. The most common topics for women are clothes and beauty. In general, if you already know what her hobby is, let her tell about it. The main secret is that your problem should be solved “as if by magic” due to her advice. And don’t forget to thank your savior.
5. Talk less about oneself, about your exes, about unsuccessful love and other sorrows. Don’t complain about your hard life. She is here for getting acquainted and not for condolences.
Online dating: good first message examples
Here are four universal phrases that will help strike up a conversation literally with one sentence:
“Are you ready…?”
The first message in online dating can look like this. Begin with a question that can immediately get her taken by surprise: “Are you ready to start salsa training?” or “Are you ready to go on some rides?” On the one hand, starting a dialog with this phrase, you can immediately understand how much your interlocutor is interesting and whether she has a sense of humor. And on the other hand, you immediately have a topic for further discussion.
“What is the place/county… on your photo?”
With this question, you will immediately show that you are interested in the life of a woman. It is not a secret for anyone that it is most pleasant for people to talk about themselves. For example, if you ask where she bought glasses from one of her pictures, and then add “I want the same!”, a girl subconsciously will take this as a compliment and will be open for further communication. Also, the question of what perfume she uses can be appropriate. It is known that the choice of perfume can say a lot about an interlocutor.
“I see you like skiing/dancing…I would like to try this. Tell me, is it difficult?”
Again, it is a good opportunity to immediately strike up good communication starting a conversation with the question of her hobbies.
“Please, please, please help me in…”
This is one more online dating first message example. This phrase can be continued in a thousand different ways – “Photoshop”, “cooking”, “choosing a book”. Any theme is suitable. The main thing is that a woman should understand it better than any other girls. And don’t be shy to seem like an absolute non-expert in this or that issue. Many representatives of the weak half of mankind will boast of their knowledge with pleasure.
These phrases are by no means a panacea and not a magic pill. We gave only examples of some of the best ways of how to get acquainted with a girl on a dating site, and you can use them as a base for creating your own, individual ways of dating. A little imagination and patience – and you will succeed!
Online Dating Mistakes You Need to Avoid
Newbies always make mistakes. Let’s admit it. Especially when we deal with the most unpredictable creatures in the world, women. Especially when you go online and it is sometimes even more difficult to understand what they want. Let’s find out the most common online dating mistakes that can make your joy and online relationships vanish in a blink of an eye. Here you have 6 online dating mistakes to avoid.
1. Using an illegitimate website
This is a mistake that can spoil your real life, to say nothing about the virtual one. Website-strangers can be very tricky and bleed you white by enticing with beautiful women’s photos. Always check the reviews, ask what online dating websites your friends use, before signing in. If you don’t want to be deceived, of course.
2. Be a Mr.Banality
Serious guys hate idiotic conversations. What they need is a fast way to get acquainted with an attractive woman and win her heart. The point is that thousands of men think the same. When you’re at a club, a simple “You’re cool. How are you doing?” would be enough. However, it doesn’t work here. How not to write the samebla-bla-bla as others? Well, try different topics. For example, the books she likes, movies, fandom you both are members of.
3. Always in a hurry
When you don’t hesitate, the women believe you (a) are the same in relationships and (b) don’t even want to spend more time on them. The worst that can happen is to be like those thousands of ordinary men who do not give a damn about what women feel.
4. Don’t be persistent
It’s another misdo for men. A lot of them act like gigolos and write tens of women at a time…and never go back to see whether ALL of them texted back. Nobody forces you to text only 3 women at a time. Just know your limit. Remember a “persistent rule”, when you find the one and she ignores you. Hmm…how unfair it is! Go on writing. You will lose nothing and avoid one of online dating mistakes.
5. Begging for a phone number
Here is another one of the most common online dating mistakes. Using a wife finder some guys make huge mistakes begging for a number in the beginning of a chat. Such an impudence is unacceptable among most decent ladies. Again, do not rush. The same is about meeting face-to-face. First, get acquainted with a woman, get to know her better, make several video calls before going on a real date.
6. Chat with married women
If a lady is already married, she can become a source of endless problems. First, if such a woman is here, this is a priori a bad fact. She spends her time dating on the net with strangers instead of taking care of her husband and possibly children. Secondly, there is a very small chance your romantic relationships will develop.
Thirdly, if she makes up with you, are you sure, your adulteress will not find another match and break up with you? If there is a blank in front of her marital status, you are to ask her and be on guard. Some of them may lie. By the way, there is no need asking about it in the first message. This is considered impolite.
Making online dating mistakes guys burry their personal life. Why don’t you, finally, stop it?