All people, regardless of gender and age, want to love and be loved. But when it comes to emotional connection, we often don’t want to take any steps, hoping for the best. But relationships, like any other sphere of our lives, depend on our conscious investment of effort and energy.
When you start your own business, you have a clear algorithm of actions: you set a goal, write a plan, and act. But the romantic relationship is a very subtle and intimate matter. It involves emotional openness, sincerity, and access to the most secret corners of your soul. A true union of hearts is difficult to imagine without an emotional connection. It’s this component that helps couples stay together. Let's see what’s hidden behind it and how to create and strengthen that connection that exists between you and your partner.
What is an emotional connection?
What’s an emotional connection? In short, it’s mutual trust. It’s the sense of closeness to another person, a feeling of mutual sympathy and empathy. When there is an emotional connection between two people, they share each other's feelings, show their affection. They don’t push off or judge, but accept each other as individuals, with love and respect. Have you heard such an expression that true friends are those who see you through and yet enjoy what they see? Some couples describe their loved ones as best friends, and this is the best combination of physical and emotional connection.
Such communication can arise between friends and those who are in love as well. Some even feel the connection with their pets. There’s no doubt that this feeling of intimacy in a relationship is essential for our physical and mental health. Emotional and spiritual bond also means the same views on life, the same attitude towards everything that is happening around, and knowing what your partner would think of this or that situation.
Emotional connection: does it last forever?
At first, couples experience euphoria, completely immersing in each other. There are no differences between them. They are the whole. Finding out that some differences still exist can be a serious stress. At this moment, the risk of a breakup is the biggest – those thrilling feelings of love and excitement have passed, and there’s still no emotional connection established. And that’s where the question arises: “Why should we be together?” But some couples with long-lasting relationships also ask the same question. In their case, it’s a warning that the crisis is ahead. The good news is that without crises, development is impossible. And here’s the bad news: helping emotional connection survive this development takes effort.
The sense of uncertainty activates our need for emotional attachment. It’s important to know that you’re not alone. And if at such times your partner is not around, your relationship gets damaged badly. The person, who doesn’t feel the support, experiences anger, protests, desperately “clinging” to his partner, and falls into anguish, completely distancing from everyone. But this is a bad scenario. In a reliable relationship, the second partner reacts to the protest, and then there’s a chance to fix everything that was broken.
What prevents us from building an emotional connection?
To understand how to connect emotionally with a woman, you need to know that a mature emotional connection has many components. For example, respect for your partner’s values and the desire to make them common, the desire to take care of each other, acceptance of differences between you, and the willingness to share both pleasant and painful experiences.
But the inability to share thoughts and feelings is a sure sign that the couple doesn’t know how to emotionally connect to each other. This may be due to the psychological characteristics or problems one of the partners may have, like low self-esteem, for example. Another possible reason is the painful experience of previous relationships. You opened up, but you weren’t accepted. Such thing is hard to overcome, and not everyone wants to repeat this.
Emotional connection is crucial but what if you find it difficult to open your soul and allow yourself to become close with another person? These seven tips will help you take a step in the right direction.
How to build emotional connection
Tip number one: start listening to your partner
Learn to be a good listener. Let your partner tell you everything, expressing their feelings freely. You need to make her trust you with her most secret desires and fantasies, even if you don’t appreciate them. It’s necessary to respect the opinion of a person close to you. Don’t interrupt your partner with questions you want to share at this moment. Avoid giving too much advice. Treat everything your partner tells you with understanding and respect, no matter what you really think. Any criticism can be the reason for the loss of trust.
Being the best listener is a great start for building an emotional bond. Become your loved one’s best friend, and she will be sure that she can trust you with what she never tells her friends.
Tip number two: establish a physical connection
Changes in the behavior change feelings, so even if you don’t feel a special attraction to the girl, start with small but consistent changes. For example, give her a hug when she doesn’t expect it (but not when you’re behind the wheel or in a swimming pool. We don’t need accidents).
There are couples who touch each other only in the moments of intimacy. If it’s your case, then you need to change something fast. Add physical contacts to your relationship, and in a couple of weeks, you’ll notice that you became much closer and began getting used to it. Embrace each other, hold hands, even if it doesn’t seem natural to you, and the emotional connection will gradually grow. Just don’t overdo it.
Tip number three: feel the difference between emotional and physical connection
For men, sex sometimes leads to emotional intimacy, but for women, it’s intimacy that leads to sex. There’s a grain of truth in these words. Men, as a rule, can tell the difference between “love” and “sex,” while women consider sex only a sign of greater affinity. Don’t think that physical intimacy will inevitably lead to an emotional connection, especially when physical contact is not accompanied by building a relationship. When we don’t feel an inner connection with our partner, physical affinity will most likely not satisfy us. Therefore, there’s no need to jump from one bed to another in a desperate search for intimacy with anyone. This doesn’t guarantee the kinship of souls at all.
It's great when both partners are close physically and emotionally, but one doesn’t necessarily lead to another. Thus, the emotional connection is not about physical contact. It’s about how you treat your partner.
Tip number four: open up gradually
This is also an important thing to consider if you want to know how to emotionally connect with your woman. Some people like to share every detail of their personal life and are very proud of their boldness and openness in intimate matters. In fact, such frankness can do harm. Some things shouldn’t be discussed at least until you’re sure about your partner. But keeping everything to yourself won’t also bring you closer. Never sharing your thoughts and feelings with your loved one and telling anything about yourself, you’ll never learn how to connect with a woman emotionally. So you need to become more open with your partner. But there is one nuance...
Tip number five: don’t become too intimate
The emotional bond is an exchange of feelings and thoughts; it’s the establishment of deep intimacy. If you want to reveal yourself to your partner, be sure that this desire is mutual. Instead of interrogating your girlfriend, making her build walls between you, bothering her with questions like “What did you do today?”, “What are you thinking about?”, or “What’s on your mind?” all the time, leave some space for freedom, and intimacy will appear naturally.
Intimacy is like a dance. Sometimes we’re very close, and sometimes we’re not, but we always remain within each other’s reach, held by forces of mutual attraction. Demanding too much and too soon, we’ll only destroy the emotional connection.
Tip number six: find time for your partner
When you only begin exploring your new relationship, everything seems new and exciting. You enjoy hours, days, and weeks spent with your loved one. You come up with more and more ideas to try them together. However, it often happens that after a while, it gets hard for you to find even a couple of hours for her because you begin spending more time on such stuff as work, hobbies, and other things. Spending a little time together becomes a difficult task. But this keeps your relationship from falling apart. If you don’t have time for each other, the sensuality and affection gradually fade.
Learning the ways to spend more time together is important to understand how to connect emotionally with a woman. And in this case, it's not just about dating. It's about your daily lives. You should have as many reasons to devote some time to each other as possible to openly talk about your feelings and share your thoughts.
You should find common hobbies that can inspire both of you or at least try to understand and love your partner’s ones. It’s difficult to create an emotional connection if you’re not interested in what your partner is interested in. This interest and curiosity need to be formed in order to have more touch points.
Tip number seven: trust your partner
Your ability to believe in honesty and reliability of others is the essential component of emotional bond, which is based on trust. Honesty guarantees a high level of emotional connection between you. It's hard to trust someone who isn’t honest with you. But honesty should be mutual. It’s the highest level of a relationship, but it’s worth achieving it. It’s the key factor that keeps your union strong and healthy.
You shouldn’t forget that the main thing a woman seeks in a relationship is personal communication. Communicating with a man face to face, a woman feels loved and desired. It’s equally important for a woman to talk with her partner and to find out about his worries and fears. She sees it as a true sign of trust and love. The more sensitivity and interest in your girlfriend's problems you demonstrate, the more stable your connection is, and the happier you are.
To be really close with someone, make sure that your woman isn’t just your life partner but also a true friend, who knows that you’ll always help her solve any problem – it’s one of the greatest values in life. Remember that in a relationship, you should always listen to your partner’s opinions and try to understand her desires and express your own ones, and you’ll learn how to connect with a woman emotionally.