“Love has no age” - everyone knows these wise words. The psychology of relationships and dating over 60 is a common topic, and you can talk about it for a long time. It will be about priorities and desires, personal relationships, the place of feelings in a person’s life if this is a person who is over 60. Have you ever wondered what such a person feels like? What is their psychology of love? What are the differences in the life positions of a person in age? What is important to them? Today we will talk about how seniors find love and which advice psychologists give them concerning building relationships being far no young.
Chances of Finding Love at 60
Before you start looking for perfect single women to create a family, you should sincerely answer the question, "What is the purpose?" Still, marriage is a serious step on which the fate of at least two people depends. Young girls get married most often because of love. When the age approaches thirty and older, young but lonely people begin to seriously panic about their future, and someone even gets married only in order not to follow social standards. Well, why men over 60 still want to meet women?
Most often, the answers contain the following words: mutual understanding; support; trust; protection; the ability to share emotions and thoughts. Of course, it’s worth doing. Marriage is not the worst option to become happy. But why some people cannot find their love at such age and what are the chances that something will change?
If the previous experience was not very successful, the woman may be disappointed in the representatives of the opposite sex, and the new relationship seems to her an unjustified risk. Most often, a person of age compares candidates for marriage with their former spouses or lovers subconsciously, and with the slightest discrepancy, the relationship ends.
If you do not understand your own feelings and doubts about whether you need dating over 60, your chances are miserable. When the reason lies in your comparing everyone with the ex-lover, it’s important to understand that there are no people absolutely identical in character and appearance, each of us has our shortcomings and advantages, and your task is to examine them more closely from the point of view of not the “past,” but the “present and future.” Senior dating sites over 60 offer all possibilities for a meeting, today people are generally more open about the relationship in the ripe old age, and the society will only be glad to see the two loving hearts getting united. So, chances of finding love at 60 are high, you just need to clear things for yourself and get rid of any psychological barriers.
What Does a 60-Year-Old Woman Want in Relationships?
Loving people experience an increase in the production of the number of endorphins. They are often called "pleasure hormones." These are compounds which are very similar to narcotic substances in their action. Therefore, there is no better cure for depression than love. Especially mature love, devoid of youthful passions, an excess of illusions and, as a result, disappointments.
However, dating after 60 is also not always rosy. Experienced people are also mistaken, suffer, disappointed, but less often, and they cope with it much more calmly. Are their needs any different from those of the young lovers?
Reliability. The relationship between people over 60 does not occur to give birth to children, build houses, etc., but to find a partner and live together. People need social acceptance and a shoulder to lean on. And that means being in a relationship. Loneliness is a difficult condition to live in for most people. And the older we are, the more disturbing gets this problem. We want a close person to be nearby and expect that they will understand and share the impressions of watching a movie or an interesting trip. We want the support of a soul mate in difficult times.
As a rule, people who have found each other at a respectable age, that is those who are dating after 60, do not necessarily seek to enter into an official marriage, although this happens. They are more often united by household obligations, this is more important for them. So, older people need to feel safe too and as science says, finding love after 60 can really prolong life because it is communication, social activity that supports our health by 30%.
Experience. A person with a baggage of experience, life achievements, realized desires is more prepared for a relationship. Finding love at 60 means being far more confident, trust your partner rather than get jealous, discuss problems and know how to get away from conflicts. Dating a 60-year-old man or woman is about worrying less about what to say or how not to offend your partner, pensioners are adult human beings not planning to argue over nothing or play on each other’s nerves. They have achieved a certain stage in their career, professional and social growth. They have a stable life, where there is a place for free time and a dear person, family and intimacy. Intentions in love become more than serious. There must be someone nearby who takes care and understands you, we all need a person with whom we can implement our dreams in life: to travel together, or to spend time every minute without annoying each other.
Being a team. Never forget that senior dating is an attempt to unite two equal lives of two mature and well-established people, each of whom has a great idea of how to live. Therefore, mutual compromises become the very foundation on which your union will be built, and on which, its strength will depend. You have lived so long on this planet that you probably have your whole specific interpretation of everything, starting with cooking and ending with where to store things or where to go. Do not expect that when you are dating a 60-year-old woman or a man, you can teach them as little children, so respect each other's opinions and habits. In any life struggle or routine situation, you should act together, help your partner and be ready to understand their views. You are a couple, one team, do not reproach each other. And the knowledge of this is exactly what older women would be glad to see in their partners.
Loyalty. For example, in the new relationship, the intimate component plays an important role, and it is vital to make a discount on the individual whims and restrictions of your chosen one. It's time to forget about strange tricks like a “headache” and choose more diplomatic ways to convey thoughts in situations where something goes wrong or you are not happy with something, but if you do not want to have sex on a certain day, just say openly about it. Also in adulthood, it is especially important to notice when a partner is tired or not feeling well, without forcing them to any actions. It means loyalty and understanding.
Another common cliche is that women over 60 are more vulnerable in everything regarding appearance than men. Believe us, males are just as shy of their physical imperfections (for example, age tummies), so sympathy and responsiveness will not be superfluous in your relationship!
Simple happiness in their old age. It is often said that older people resemble children. As if at the end of our life cycle we become as naïve and kind as we were when we just came to this world. And this feeling of huge love towards everyone and everything, not worrying about things you have already experienced. They don't let the past ruin the present. Each of us over the years of life has accumulated a lot of emotional baggage, so combining two different lives into one requires a lot of tact and common sense. But it is better to stay positive and not a grumpy old pensioner that annoys everyone – this is what women after 60 would like you to consider.
Dating After 60 Rules
Children grew up, and parents are often lonely. Rare communication and classes with grandchildren do not save the situation. A typical story: a lady of pre-retirement age consulted a doctor complaining of poor health: weakness, depression, low blood pressure, and headache. The doctor recommended falling in love. Yes, simple as it is, love cures all diseases and gives the energy to live another 30 years! People in love feel happy, and happiness fights depression. Of course, not all diseases can be cured by love. But in some cases, it helps. So, what is the secret behind keeping your relationship fresh as if you are both 20 again?
Accept your age. No need to convince yourself that a romantic relationship is only for the young. You need to start acting with this phrase, "Life does not end with retirement!" Scary? But one of the dating after 60 rules is to not perceive your biological age as a sentence. Remember how you were afraid to go on a first date? Starting dating again in the ripe old age, you feel intimidated too and this is normal. You think your children will not accept your new partner, the neighbors will laugh, and the society gets frowned. But there is only one fear, and it is existent in your head. Think about how happy you will be when you forget about numbers and let yourself live to the fullest. Love warms the heart, gives new emotions, and you experience a real revival. Isn’t it worth it?
Be honest at every stage of dating. By the way, the need for intimacy and enjoyment does not fade over the years, and sexual and reproductive health even after 65 remains an important aspect of psychological and physical well-being. The key requirements for the continuation of a high-quality sexual life in adulthood are good, trusting relationships with a partner and the general state of health, which is very important to monitor. If you do not talk, you do not trust and feel an emotional connection with a partner, it means the physical aspect will suffer too. Psychological issues, which also often underlie sexual dysfunction, need to be given as much time as physiological ones. Therefore, seeing a psychologist and sexologist in case of problems in the sexual sphere is mandatory. And you should do that better with a sexual partner.
In general, you need to be always open with your partner. If you pursue purely selfish goals, then, as we have said, you have the right to do so. But in this case, first honestly admit your mercantile intentions, and then try to hear and understand the interlocutor. Do not think that problems will disappear on their own, it is very dangerous. After all, there is simply no time for you to waste. Even on dating sites for seniors over 60, stay true as you should feel comfortable.
You may have to lower your standards. Love that comes to a person at an older age is especially appreciated and is often perceived not only as “late,” but also as the “last.” That is why the experience is so acute, and one wants to keep it. Love is not just a feeling; it is a work on your relationships. Treat it carefully like the most precious gift from the life you have ever received. Do not argue or stay stubborn, you may offend your partner. Just show respect and be loyal to your soulmate, of course, they are not perfect, but neither are you.
We think everyone heard the expression "if you want to be happy, be it!" It reflects the truth that all our problems start in our head, and what we are - such is the world around us. Therefore, it is very important, firstly, to objectively evaluate your attitude to life, and secondly, to understand what the idea of the happiness of the person is. And when you find happiness inside yourself, you will be less mad at others for any minor mistakes.
Analyze your flaws and improve yourself. As for unsuccessful attempts to love during the whole life, this may be the result of low self-esteem. This means that a person is not confident, shows a weakness of character. Trying to build a new relationship, they are, at the same time, afraid of condemnation, rejection and are not ready to achieve the goal. Some cannot decide on a new relationship, because they are not able to free themselves from the previous ones. Another reason may be a confusing system of values, various prejudices, and misconceptions, i.e. "devastation in the head." No matter how wild it may sound, some people even at 60 are not ready for serious relationships. You will change only when you look at yourself first before accusing someone is acting strange, offending you or being not so smart. Watch your own mistakes and help your partner improve but never reproach them not noticing your failures.
Keep your soul young. The number in the passport does not define the person. A man after 60 can be a smart, energetic person, successful and self-sufficient. He can fall in love and build relationships, create a business or completely go to extreme sports. A person remains capable of wild deeds at any age. If you fall in love with a person over 60, you can become a good friend and terrific lover for them. It is unlikely that someone at this age will want great emotional outbursts and shocks. If you can give happiness, then the person will answer you the same, if they like you. Look not at age but at how individual acts and whether they feel the inner energy they can share with you. Stay away from the grumpy old people, and you will be happy!
Where to Find Love After 60
Dating sites are, of course, the best option and the most convenient in modern conditions. But not all older people know how to use a computer, and they can be simply embarrassed to ask their children to help them register on a dating platform. That is why meeting in real life stays a good option for them. Where you should look for your 60-year-old soul mate?
1. Local social events. Those can be concerts, festivals or science conferences. Profession-related events and anything where there will be a lot of people in general. If you visit such an occasion, chances are you will notice some pensioners in the crowd.
2. Events for retired people. Here the result is more promising as such kinds of events are organized for older people specifically. Starting from open-air dances at parks or clubs, art exhibitions, playing board games or chess and even speed-dates for seniors at a local organization. Here the society is more concerned with the needs of the elderly and helps them meet their love by all means.
3. Parks and public spaces. Cafes, restaurants, co-working labs, and parks – that go outside your house and spend a day strolling around the city. You will not meet anyone sitting inside four walls, just breathe the fresh air and enjoy discovering new places. If one day the fortune is not on your side, you can return to the spots you liked the most and try again. At least you will hang out at a trendy place once more.
4. Gyms. The perfect option for those who try to stay fit at any age. There you can meet people with similar interests and be sure you are leading the same lifestyle. But be careful and always ask a person whether they are free. Because the absence of the ring on the finger can mean they have put it off not to lose when training.
5. Volunteering. As a rule, seniors volunteer for other elderly who are disabled, at a charity event, animal shelters, and orphanages. There they spend the time not to feel lonely and also perform a vital social function. You can be sure that people you meet at such places will be kind and caring.
If a person over sixty falls in love, they will do everything for their beloved. Elderly become altruists who know how to beautifully say compliments, to present surprises, charm your partner, and value their feelings. Mature years are a time for analyzing your life, summing up and a deep awareness of priorities, but not a time for loneliness. The psychology of relationships occupies a central place, since a person has already realized their main plans, has a stable income, free time for love and a calm and interesting future. So, what can be a better period to start dating?